Heartstopper and Alec Benjamin

  Hi, 

I'm back! It's been a little bit but I'm finally back and with unoriginal ideas! Because originality is overrated. This idea is unoriginal because I'm literally taking my last post's idea but instead of Mad Tasi, it’s Alec Benjamin and more heartstopper characters. Since this is my two obsessions meeting and we are adding more characters you should be scared for how long this will be. This has also been inspired by me finishing the Solitaire audiobook and afterwards listening to Alec Benjamin. I am also starting this at 11:08pm and I have end of year tests tomorrow so hopefully I go to bed before I finish this but then again my 2 class exams tomorrow aren't super important (Ap lang and Band which I will probably be doing almost nothing in). So anyways in this I'm going to try and give each character a song, maybe some relationships a song and maybe some will have multiple songs, honestly who knows. Have fun reading this mess!

First up... Nick Neilson (aka rugby lad 💀). Honestly my first favorite character (sorry Tori Spring currently has the favorite spot). I love his story line of figuring out his sexuality and the ups and downs that come with it. His song is Boy in the Bubble. An iconic song for an iconic character. This song is about getting into a fight and having a bully, but never showing the bully they got you. Although Nick is not the greatest at hiding his feelings when he gets into fights, he sure does get into a good few physical fights. "I didn't want trouble." Nick doesn't want to get into fights. He always tries to solve thing peacefully and will let it get too far sometimes before he starts throwing punches."When my mom walked into the living room/She said, 'Boy, you gotta tell me what they did to you'/ I said, 'You don't wanna know the things I had to do'/ She said, 'Son, you gotta tell me why you're black and blue'. This is literally the car scene right after Nick gets into a fight with Harry at the movie theaters. Nick's mom is concerned and Nick is hesitant to go into the full details of what happened. Those are the main lyrics that make me think of him. Some of these lyrics are in the chorus so it's in the song a lot. 

Next up... Charlie Spring! Charlie is an amazing and complicated character. He struggles with his mental health a lot but tries not to let that define him. He does tend to downplay his actions and feelings which we find out because of Tori's book (we love an unreliable narrator, but honestly Tori is too sometimes but that's for a later paragraph). Charlie can fit a lot of Alec Benjamin's songs because a lot of his songs talk about mental health. I think there would be two songs I would give him. The first one would be the amazing song Mind in a Prison ("I DON'T LIVE IN CALIFORNIA I'LL INFORM YOU THAT'S NOT WHERE I RESIDE"... obviously one of my favorite songs). "Sometimes I think too much/ Yeah, I get so caught up/ I'm always stuck in my head" This is very much a Charlie Spring line. Charlie over-thinks his actions a lot. For example his first kiss with Nick he goes to apologize to Nick thinking he messed things up when he didn't. "Guess my mind is a prison and/ I'm never gonna get out" This again goes with the theme of Charlie overthinking. He seems to get so caught up in his own thoughts to the point he feels trapped. "Said even if it's true/ No matter what I do/ I'm never gonna escape/ I won't give up on hope" Charlie doesn't give up on himself. He understands he needs help and with the help of Nick he gets it. "I don't live in California/ I'll inform you that's not where I reside '' Simply Charlie doesn't live in California, he lives in England. I would also give him one of Alec Benjamin's demos, Lock me up for Life.  "Is it unnatural to, to have these thoughts sometimes?/ Am I alone, am I some type of criminal?" Charlie with his overthinking again probably feels very alone. It is shown that Nick doesn't think the same as Charlie and this probably affects how Charlie feels about himself. "Like when I felt alone and hated my life/ So I thought about takin’ it" I won't go into these lyrics as much but it is also shown, more through Tori's pov that Charlie sadly feels this way. I do think this song could also fit Tori too. They tend to have similar feelings about themselves but Tori is more blunt with it.

Now I will give one for their relationship. This will be more of a light hearted paragraph. I love their relationship because they are just so pure and would truly trade the world for each other. They love with their full hearts and want the best for each other. This ones harder because there aren't a lot of happy songs, but the one I feel suits them the most is  Speakers. "I often think about the way you'll think about me when we're old/ I always thought that we could be the greatest story ever told" First of all Nick and Charlie will definitely still be together when they are old. Secondly it has been said that no matter the universe Nick and Charlie would find each other so they are the greatest story ever told. "And I can't stop the clock from tickin', I know that it's just the beginnin'" Heartstopper is just the beginning of Nick and Charlie's relationship because they are still in school and are just teenagers. "And if one day, the image starts to fade/ Don't worry, babe, oh, that would be okay/ I'll give you all the memories that I saved/Just leave me with a picture, just a picture of your face" I fully feel like this is something Nick would say to Charlie. 

Okay so hear me out on this one.  This next song is for Tao's initial opinion on Nick and Charlie's relationship. The song is Devil Doesn't Bargain. This is how Tao fully believes Nick is a straight, rude rugby player. "I can see that you're sure/ You can change him but I know you won't" Tao is very sure Nick is straight in the beginning. He thinks Charlie is in over his head with this because there is no chance Nick would ever like him back.. "It isn't worth it, darling/ He's never gonna change/ He'll never be Prince Charming" Tao is very concerned about Charlie's feelings and just wants the best for him. In Tao's mind Nick will never be Charlie's "Prince Charming''. "I don't mean to meddle" Tao does mean to meddle. "I'm not one to lecture/ Talk down to a friend/ I don't mean to pressure/ Mean to condescend/ But I just want what's best for/ You in the end/ I know you don't want to let go" This verse I think truly incases Tao's feelings of the relationship in the beginning. He again just wants the best for Charlie and doesn't want Charlie to take it the wrong way.

Next we have the amazing Tori Spring (My current favorite character)! Honestly Tori and Charlie are so similar yet so different. Again I think she could fit a lot of songs. She struggles with self love and motivation. I would give her I'm Not A Cynic, and Oh My God. First I'm Not A Cynic, I think the title is very telling to her character. "I'm just bein' realistic, bein' honest with myself/ I've tried bein' optimistic but it doesn't seem to help '' Tori is the exact opposite of an optimist. In fact Micheal calls her a pessimist or a cynic a few times. In her mind though, she thinks she's just being realistic. "I swear that I'm not a cynic, my glass just has no water in it" I feel this is how Tori sees life. She doesn't look at life in a glass half full or half empty, she would think that saying is crazy. I think Tori for the most part thinks she's a realist. In reality she's just very sad and doesn't know how to look at the bright side. For the second song Oh My God. This song is about going through such a change that you don't recognize yourself. "Running low on patience, running low on fumes/ I'm never gonna make it halfway to the moon/ But it's too late to turn around" This reminds me of how Tori will "run out of fumes'' until she just blows up like she did to Lucas about her brother. I think Tori is always running on low fumes and that is why she feels the way she does. She's been through so much and doesn't give herself time to reset. "Oh my god, I can't remember" She never remembers when Micheal does certain stuff like putting the solitaire paper in her hand in the beginning. Also I just gotta add here that Tori is a blogger so she's truly an icon!

After that I want to go a little into Tori and Becky's friendship and give them a song. The song I would give is Death Of A Hero. Although Becky is nowhere near being Tori's hero, I feel like the song can still relate to this situation."I barely recognized him at all'' Tori is shocked when she sees Becky still with Ben after everything that happened. At that moment she realizes she doesn't recognize the girl in front of her anymore. "I tried to look away but you can't look away from a trainwreck" (Honestly one of my favorite lyrics ever). This is again how shocked she is when she sees Becky and Ben. Tori fully thought Becky wouldn’t betray her and continue to date the guy who tried to beat up her brother. I would also give them the unreleased song The Knife In My Back. “I was just surprised at how you turned on me so fast” this again relates to the fight. “I even let you in my home” at one point Tori’s dad asks about Becky showing that Tori used to invite her over. "I thought we were friends/ But now we're enemies” Tori reflects at one point how close they used to be but after Becky continues to be with Ben she won't talk to Beck anymore. Tori truly feels betrayed and rightfully so. 

Next we have Micheal Holden! (Okay side note while trying to look up how to spell his last name I came across a review by some who left 2.5/5 stars! I was like wait what? I tried not to judge but as I read the review it didn't make sense so this is me ranting about it real quick. First they say they can't relate to Tori's mental health struggles, which okay fair enough not everyone will, but this seems like one of the reasons they gave it less stars? Then they go on to say that they don't understand why Tori doesn't talk to her parents about her mental health because they are clearly helping Charlie. First of all she could simply not want to "burden" her parents with this, since they are already dealing with one mentally unwell kid, because keep in mind she is not in a mentally okay spot either! She's not happy with herself and she doesn't know how to reach out! On top of that, the little we do know about her parents is not good. She asks her mom to iron her skirt before school because she doesn't know how and is in a rush. Her mom just simply doesn't care and ends up telling her to just go to school without a skirt, which she can't do because it is a part of her uniform. If she sees that her mom doesn't care about important clothing issues why would she think they would care about her mental health? Her and Charlie are 2 different kids and it shows through heartstopper, which I assume this reviewer hasn't read so I understand that Charlie, although still not a good relationship, has a better one with their parents, than Tori does. I understand not relating to a character but giving a story a bad review because of it doesn't make any sense! They even say they understand that others will relate! I checked the comments and a few others say the same? They all have seemed to have read Radio Silence first so maybe that's why? Either way it seems weird to nit pick those parts of the book. Okay rant over now back to the regularly scheduled program) Now for Micheal Holden I would give him the song Alamo. Alamo seems like a very happy song that's fighting for freedom, but at the bridge it shows a sadder side to things which I feel shows Micheal as a whole. "'Cause my teachers and the media are ghouls in disguise" It is shown throughout solitaire that Micheal does not get along with his teachers. He even gets suspended at one point because of this. "I won't pledge you my allegiance, I'll just bid you farewell," I don't know exactly how to explain this but this just feels like a very Micheal lyric, specifically to authority. I don't think Micheal hates people in authority, I think he just doesn't get along with a lot of them. "I know that on the surface/ It might seem like I'm just fine/ But I can't eat, I barely sleep/ Sometimes, I wanna run and hide/ I feel like I'm dying in this cage/ My soul is trapped, I feel confined/ And I just wish they'd let me out/ So I could finally live my life." Now that was a lot of lyrics but I can explain. That was the bridge of the song. I put it down because this is the turning point of the song. It seems like a very happy, upbeat song, but when you hit the bridge you see the underlying sadness of it. I think that describes Micheal pretty well. He seems like a happy guy for the first half, someone who doesn't care much what other people think and is honestly sort of creepy at times. Then we hit the scene where he just lost his speed skating race and he is really angry. It shows a deeper level of Micheal that I feel like is similar to the bridge for the song. Both seem alright on the surface level but have a deeper, sadder meaning the more you know about it. ("You hate yourself, I hate myself, common interests! We should get together.")

Now for Tori and Micheal's relationship. I would give them the song Demons. I think it shows the back and forth of their relationship really well. I also see this as more from Tori's perspective of the relationship. "I've got all these demons hiding underneath" Tori has a lot going on with her mental health that no one seems to notice until they truly get to know her. "But when my knees were getting weak and I was in need of help/ You were there to take away the pain that I felt," Micheal was always there to try and help Tori, even if it wasn't obvious. Tori also helped Micheal at points like when she validated Micheal being angry at losing his race. They tried to be there for each other even though they fought at times. "For a moment I thought maybe I was doing alright/ So I took your love for granted and I left you behind" I see this lyric as talking about their fights. They had a few explosive fights whenever one of them was overwhelmed by what was going on. For example after the party starts to beat up Ben and Tori gets upset she yells at Micheal not realizing he was trying to comfort her. "You forgave me and you gave me hope" This lyric shows how they always made up in the end. 

Guess what? I have another song for another character 😂.  This one is for Tara and it’s Nancy Got A Haircut (one of my favorites from Alec Benjamin's new album).  I see Tara as Nancy in this song. Someone who is very popular and gets hit on by guys, and has girls jealous of her, but has a lot going on so the popularity isn't worth it. "Nancy's got a new dude/ Pullin' all the fellas/ Girls are doin' voodoo/ 'Cause they're getting jealous" Everyone is trying to get Nick and her together and guys hit on her. (In reality she is a lesbian dating Darcy). Also it is hinted at in the show that Imogen is jealous of her because she thinks she has Nick's attention and Imogen wants it. "But nobody knows what it's like to be/ Scrutinized like you're on TV/ Nobody knows what it's like/ To be Nancy" Tara is scrutinized a lot in the show specifically for coming out. A lot of homophobic things are thrown at her. She is also supposed to be someone popular so that is another reason why she is scrutinized. "Nancy's got a hard life/ Winnin' isn't easy" I'm not sure if it is ever specifically said, but I believe that Tara is someone who has always worked to be where she is. She also has to deal with the amount of homophobic comments on her social media and at her school for just being who she is. She still pushes through all of that to continue living her best life. 

Surprisingly I have a song for Ben Hope (B*N H*PE HATE CLUB). I don't like Ben Hope but the song Outrunning Karma just works so well for his character. Let me explain why. "He's such a charmer" When we get to know Ben through Tori's pov (Before the fight) we find out he is kinda charming sadly. He seems welcoming and like a nice person (do not be fooled though he is not a good person). "He's never gonna make it, all the/ Poor people he's forsaken, karma/ Is always gonna chase him for his lies" Ben does get some sort of Karma for what he does to Charlie when the party beats him up. I also imagine that Charlie is not the only person Ben has treated terribly. Ben also lies quite a bit. He lies about not knowing who Charlie is, and about not having a girlfriend. I would also give Ben the demo O.I.N.V. "And I wish I were him, holding your hand, kissing your lips" I truly believe that Ben hates Charlie and Nick's relationship so much because he is jealous. He wants Charlie all to himself but also does not want to treat him nicely. He sees what they have and knows he missed out on it but at the same time does fully know that is why he is upset. "Envy the hands touching your face" In this lyric I think of the scene after the movie theater when Ben confronts Charlie. Why would Ben be so upset over Charlie and Nick holding hands if he wasn't jealous. I think again he sees what Charlie is getting and doesn't want him to have it because he knows he's lost the chance of being in Nick's role. *Also I want to say that this is not meant to excuse his bullying and harassment towards Charlie. I believe Ben is a terrible person and I am not on his side. I just think that deep down Ben was jealous of it all and felt that if he couldn't have Charlie then no one could, even if that meant ruining Charlie's self image. Ben felt that if that's the length he had to go then he would go that far. Again this is not an excuse and I am not on Ben's side. Ben had better options on how to go about things and chose no to do that.*

Also guess what, I have a song for Ben and Charlie's relationship. It is The Way You Felt. I see it in Charlie's perspective of the relationship. "Oh, I fell for your charm/ I was so infatuated/ But you left me in the dark/ And my heart completely vacant" Charlie fell hard in the relationship. I mean this was his first one so it makes sense that he did. Ben did not though and so he left Charlie out of a lot of things. He pretended not to know him and he even got a girlfriend while they were together. "But I cannot excuse you for abusing my empathy" Ben definitely abused how far Charlie was willing to go for him. Charlie was willing to wait by his side while Ben figured things out and Ben used that to his advantage. He didn't like Charlie, he liked the idea of him. Someone he could keep on the side for whenever he wanted. "I can take rejection/ But you gave the impression/ That this was the inception/ Of something real" This is when Charlie thought they were boyfriends. Charlie can take being rejected but it was the fact that Ben led him on so hard that I think made it worse. Charlie thought they were kinda dating and had a thing but Ben only saw him as his side chick sadly. B*N H*PE HATE CLUB. 

I also have one for Nick's mom! She is such an amazing parent. I would give her the song Hammers. "If hammers can crush, if hammers can bend/ Then how do you plan to use your hammer, my friend?" I see Nick's mom as someone who wants the best for everyone in the world. I mean she helped Nick do research on how to help Charlie. She encourages people to be their best selves and use their "hammers" to help, not hurt. "Wield your hammer to right what's wrong, right what's wrong," Again Nick's mom wants the best for people and will try and "right what's wrong." "We're not passin' judgment/ 'Cause that would be cruel" This reminds me of how she purely accepts Nick. She doesn't doubt or judge him. She also gets on David (🙅) for making fun of, and judging Nick. Also when she yells at their dad for not being the kids life as much.

I also have a song for the whole universe of Solitaire and Heartstopper. I think the song that fits them the best is If We Have Each Other. "And though life was never easy, they were thankful that they stayed/ With each other, and though some times were hard/ Even when she made him angry he would never break her heart" I see this line for both Nick and Charlie and Tori and Micheal. Both couples have had a good few fights yet it's never relationship ending and always come back to each other. "Even at the end/ Their love was stronger than/ The day that they first met" This is reserved for Nick and Charlie. They always come out of fights stronger (like the drunk fight in the Nick and Charlie book). "The world's not perfect, but it's not that bad/ If we got each other, and that's all we have" This is how the whole friend group has to go through homophobic comments, and many other terrible things but in the end they are okay because they have each other. They comfort each other in their lows and celebrate their highs. "So I'm thankful for my sister, even though sometimes we fight/ When high school wasn't easy, she's the reason I survived" Honestly this is Tori and Charlie perfectly. They really seem to rely on each other through Heartstopper and Solitaire. We see mostly in Solitaire that they tell each other everything and that Tori is Charlie's biggest supporter (even more than Nick). Also cue the tik tok my friend sent me of Heartstopper using this song (I swear I had this idea before and honestly it's just more proof that this song works for them 😭😂).

The song Nuance reminds me of The Great Gatsby. And no I will not explain thank you 💕. 

Now that I have combined my two obsessions I feel complete. I know I have ranted a lot but that's what you signed up for when you read this 😂.  Also fun fact I did not stay up all night to finish this! It is actually like over a week later, because I put off finishing this for a while. I also have been in a Conan Gray mood and haven't been listening to Alec Benjamin as much, causing me to put this off more :).  Anyways that's it for now.

     Thank you for coming to my ted talk

            -Autumn 

P.S. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH 

P.P.S. This was 4,186 words